insights

may you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.  irish blessing

this past weekend was all about insights. into me. into words. as fall begins to creep closer, i realize just what an amazing summer this has been. and that in my estimation is a painful paradox. the truth is that it has been incredibly tough on my heart but as i have stripped away that which is not important, i have found myself smack dab in the middle of love.

in brief moments of pause this past weekend, i had a chance to reflect on what makes me happy. hot coffee, my pooch on the dock and the sounds of nature truly are the yin to my yang. i value slow and i value mornings. i value together and the voices deep within the lake.

insights came to me as i sipped champagne, as i lay in bed listening to the sounds of sleeping hunks and as i wrote dockside. most importantly insights came to me this past weekend as i engaged in tough conversations with people i love. like cold air off the lake i realized that yesterday cannot be redone.  and although people change, how others perceive them doesn’t always keep time.

this weekend i thought about rick rypien, our fallen jet and wondered why he couldn’t shed the skin that was no longer the person he wanted to become. i thought deeply about how sometimes living in the past is closer to death than we realize. willing my mind to dream of who i am becoming works for me. better than that it is mandatory for my journey. my insight came as i realized that i cannot stop momentum.  and so that for means that i cannot ever pass up a chance to dance.

i had one of best weekend’s i have ever spent at the lake with my inlaws. i will look back on an evening of ribs and champagne and think about staying up late talking about life with a man who probably has more insight than most. i guess a terminal illness will do that. bring insight.

this morning as i brushed sleep from my being, i know who i am. i look for good. i know my limits. i am working on a life list and i’m okay if that doesn’t jive with who i was. wisdom has helped me focus on insights gained today.